Now, I know I seem particular in the last post but don’t think that any of those things have gotten in the way of yet more uncomfortable and/or strange dating experiences. Next up is a lovely little ditty about a complete and utter scam.
The day I joined OK Cupid, I received a message from a very good looking man named Alex (or so he says who knows) who lives in DC. I like DC so why not. He went on to tell me how beautiful my pictures were and that he wanted to talk more but doesn’t access the site very often. He included his number and we began to talk.
He told me he was Danish American, a civil engineer, widowed with an adult child. All of this sounds really great on paper and he was damn cute. I finally felt like maybe after an asshole ex-husband and all these horrible dates I deserved this.
Then it got weird. See he would text me constantly wanting to know exactly where I was. And it would be 4 or 5 messages in a row…at 1 am. UM hey asshole, I know you don’t know me but I am sleeping at 1 am (unless I am with Louise and then I am in no position to text). He would call me three or four times a day which again was quite unusual because most dates I have never heard their voice before we meet (oh which is another blog in and of itself). He asked for a picture but somehow could not receive it on his phone or send one of himself on his phone, it came through on a separate pinger app.
Now as you have all gotten to know me, you should know that I am not naïve but still pretty hopeful that someday I will meet someone (and I do not think my prince will come, just an ordinary guy enjoying life is ok with me). So the first few days was very nice and hopeful…then he dropped the L word. Yup after four days of talking on the phone he then told me he loves me. WTF. I have only told two guys that, one after almost a year and one after 4 years. I don’t say that easily and I don’t appreciate it thrown around so easily by others. My response “that’s is nice but kinda crazy. You don’t even know me and I will not say that to you.” And I forgot to mention that his accent is so think I can only understand every other word he says.
By now, my friends think he is cuckoo bananas and I should just drop him. But there is still a part of me that feels like maybe I am the cynical one and should not be so quick to judge that perhaps it is just him. I don’t know, I see commercials all the time about it so I am sure it is true, just like all everything on the internet.
He claims to have a job in Turkey and then he is going to come visit me before the holidays. He sends me very long emails about how he is so happy that he met me and cannot wait to see me and show me that he is going to take care of me the rest of my life. I know, it all seems soooo sappy. And rest assured, I did not delete any accounts or stop talking to any other boys because I know when something sounds too good to be true. At the end of his emails are crazy you tube videos that are karaoke lyrics for the worst.song.ever. Every email was signed, Remember Alex Cares. I literally laughed out loud about them. Now I am kinda just going to see what the end game is because he has no clue who I am and insulted me with the L word when they clearly don’t get you (or have met you).
By now he is going to Turkey to finalize his new construction project and says that he may not be able to contact me for a few days and that it makes him sad (I think he even cried or said he cried – whatever was my response because I am kinda a bitch). I receive an email from him that tells me all about his day and the food and where he is staying and that he has another meeting in the morning and will call me then.
He contacts me and says it went very well but there is a problem. His lawyer hasn’t sent his papers over because the trip came together so quickly and now he won’t send them until he gets paid. My response “so pay him”. Then the 419 comes out. In case you don’t know what that is search 419 scam on Wikipedia. We all remember the Nigerian Prince that had wired money to your account and then just needed you to take out a money order and send it right away. Well apparently this is the new version and apparently he thought I was a sucker. He tried the “but babe, why can’t you just send him the money, I consider you my wife.” UM FUCK YOU. First off, I have never met you and Secondly Fuck Off. I tuned out all the excuses about him not having access to his bank account and now he is going to be stranded and blah blah blah…123 Not My Problem.
I then get text messages asking the same thing and responded with one sentence. “I am not sending money to anyone, ever!” His response “Okay”. Not a word since. Which again anyone who has gotten to know me knows I can’t let someone else have the last word. I reported him on the website, blocked his phone number and sent the following email:
Ok so not sure even what your actual name is or if you shut down this email.
I just wanted to say that I am completely and utterly offended by your scam. I don't know why you thought I was the kind of girl that would 1. Fall for a stranger or 2. Be stupid enough to send money.
Your approach was elementary at best and horrid to be honest. You should've bowed out when I pushed back on the I love you. I would've at least thought you a better person than the piece of shit I know you are now. I reported you on okcupid hopefully you find some other way to be a douche then preying on so called lonely women.
Genna (PS it is pronounced like Jenna you idiot and your music choices are awful)
And I don't care
So cheers to Alextruelove on OK Cupid you are an awful awful human being who preys on lonely women and glad I am not one of them. My friends and I will laugh about you over a bottle of wine and then move on because after all even when you are being scammed, all is ok as long as a girl’s gotta drink in her hand.
The day I joined OK Cupid, I received a message from a very good looking man named Alex (or so he says who knows) who lives in DC. I like DC so why not. He went on to tell me how beautiful my pictures were and that he wanted to talk more but doesn’t access the site very often. He included his number and we began to talk.
He told me he was Danish American, a civil engineer, widowed with an adult child. All of this sounds really great on paper and he was damn cute. I finally felt like maybe after an asshole ex-husband and all these horrible dates I deserved this.
Then it got weird. See he would text me constantly wanting to know exactly where I was. And it would be 4 or 5 messages in a row…at 1 am. UM hey asshole, I know you don’t know me but I am sleeping at 1 am (unless I am with Louise and then I am in no position to text). He would call me three or four times a day which again was quite unusual because most dates I have never heard their voice before we meet (oh which is another blog in and of itself). He asked for a picture but somehow could not receive it on his phone or send one of himself on his phone, it came through on a separate pinger app.
Now as you have all gotten to know me, you should know that I am not naïve but still pretty hopeful that someday I will meet someone (and I do not think my prince will come, just an ordinary guy enjoying life is ok with me). So the first few days was very nice and hopeful…then he dropped the L word. Yup after four days of talking on the phone he then told me he loves me. WTF. I have only told two guys that, one after almost a year and one after 4 years. I don’t say that easily and I don’t appreciate it thrown around so easily by others. My response “that’s is nice but kinda crazy. You don’t even know me and I will not say that to you.” And I forgot to mention that his accent is so think I can only understand every other word he says.
By now, my friends think he is cuckoo bananas and I should just drop him. But there is still a part of me that feels like maybe I am the cynical one and should not be so quick to judge that perhaps it is just him. I don’t know, I see commercials all the time about it so I am sure it is true, just like all everything on the internet.
He claims to have a job in Turkey and then he is going to come visit me before the holidays. He sends me very long emails about how he is so happy that he met me and cannot wait to see me and show me that he is going to take care of me the rest of my life. I know, it all seems soooo sappy. And rest assured, I did not delete any accounts or stop talking to any other boys because I know when something sounds too good to be true. At the end of his emails are crazy you tube videos that are karaoke lyrics for the worst.song.ever. Every email was signed, Remember Alex Cares. I literally laughed out loud about them. Now I am kinda just going to see what the end game is because he has no clue who I am and insulted me with the L word when they clearly don’t get you (or have met you).
By now he is going to Turkey to finalize his new construction project and says that he may not be able to contact me for a few days and that it makes him sad (I think he even cried or said he cried – whatever was my response because I am kinda a bitch). I receive an email from him that tells me all about his day and the food and where he is staying and that he has another meeting in the morning and will call me then.
He contacts me and says it went very well but there is a problem. His lawyer hasn’t sent his papers over because the trip came together so quickly and now he won’t send them until he gets paid. My response “so pay him”. Then the 419 comes out. In case you don’t know what that is search 419 scam on Wikipedia. We all remember the Nigerian Prince that had wired money to your account and then just needed you to take out a money order and send it right away. Well apparently this is the new version and apparently he thought I was a sucker. He tried the “but babe, why can’t you just send him the money, I consider you my wife.” UM FUCK YOU. First off, I have never met you and Secondly Fuck Off. I tuned out all the excuses about him not having access to his bank account and now he is going to be stranded and blah blah blah…123 Not My Problem.
I then get text messages asking the same thing and responded with one sentence. “I am not sending money to anyone, ever!” His response “Okay”. Not a word since. Which again anyone who has gotten to know me knows I can’t let someone else have the last word. I reported him on the website, blocked his phone number and sent the following email:
Ok so not sure even what your actual name is or if you shut down this email.
I just wanted to say that I am completely and utterly offended by your scam. I don't know why you thought I was the kind of girl that would 1. Fall for a stranger or 2. Be stupid enough to send money.
Your approach was elementary at best and horrid to be honest. You should've bowed out when I pushed back on the I love you. I would've at least thought you a better person than the piece of shit I know you are now. I reported you on okcupid hopefully you find some other way to be a douche then preying on so called lonely women.
Genna (PS it is pronounced like Jenna you idiot and your music choices are awful)
And I don't care
So cheers to Alextruelove on OK Cupid you are an awful awful human being who preys on lonely women and glad I am not one of them. My friends and I will laugh about you over a bottle of wine and then move on because after all even when you are being scammed, all is ok as long as a girl’s gotta drink in her hand.